With This Heart, With These Tears
by perishedlove
Summary: Sesshomary goes to tell Inuyasha a secret he's never told anyone, but when he sees Kagome confess before him, what's he supposed to do? Where does he belong? Nowhere?


Sess POV

My eyes clouded over as soon as they strayed up above me to the clear brightly colored stars that twinkled around the crescent moon against the midnight blue and dark purple sky. The fog from the morning had long dissipated from the ground and I could finally see my own hand in front of my face.

Today I had finally gathered the courage to visit my brother and tell him just what had been on my mind lately. I had spent hours of the day talking to myself trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say. And for once, I hadn't a clue what to do. I couldn't conjure up one sentence that sounded just right for this sort of moment. Finally I deemed to myself that the words would just have the come when the time was right.

I walked more slowly than usual going to him now. A couple times I had already thought about turning around and heading back to the Western Lands and never telling him of my affections. But then the thoughts of never having my brother came to mind and I turned right back around and made myself look calm and collected. I had waited long enough for this day and I wouldn't wait any longer.

I could smell him now and I was getting even more apprehensive than before. My heart sped up ten fold and seemed to sprout wings and was trying to flutter out of my cage of a body. My palms were sweaty and my fingers were fidgeting behind my back as I continued. This was not a pleasant feeling for this Sesshomaru.

The scent was so strong I knew he was right beyond the brush, and thankfully I was downwind so he couldn't smell me so I had enough time to get my thoughts straight. I was just about to come through the brush gracefully as I always did and say something smart and witty to him…when I heard a girl's voice enter the clearing in which Inuyasha was.

Normal POV

"Inuyasha?" Kagome said a bit antsy.

"Hm?" The half demon said glancing at the miko from his spot against the trunk of an oak tree. He could smell her embarrassment and worry. "What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong really. I just came to talk to you about something that's been bothering me as of late." She sighed as the youkai in question stood up to face her. "Inuyasha, you've probably noticed that my attitude kind of changed toward you in these past few weeks…I don't know how you feel about me, but I always felt like we had a deep connection…deeper than friendship. The point is…I think I'm in love with you!"

Sesshomaru held his breath as the ningen threw herself at his own brother and Inuyasha struggled to catch her, but as soon as he did, that wench stretched her neck out and crushed their lips together in a…kiss.

She had just done what he was about to do. She had confessed her love for him and he had accepted her without a word of protest. How ironic. If he'd only come a moment sooner than maybe Kagome would be the one watching from the brush and he would be the one kissing Inuyasha…No, probably not. Inuyasha wouldn't accept him anyway. Then he'd have to be lowered to being rejected right in front of a human.

Then the realization of the situation hit him. His heart seemed to shatter right inside his own body, the little shards of his heart stabbing his insides as it broke. His eyes suddenly reacted to his emotional pain and began to water up. Before he began to do this he had to get away from this spot.

Then the lord did the only thing he thought he could do now. He ran in the direction of the Western Lands to return home to his castle. To Rin, to Jaken. Nothing Rin could do now would ever make him smile again. Not ever.

And then to even more of his misfortune, the wind changed and began to blow the exact opposite way so the smell of his tears would eventually be carried back to his brother. Then he'd know his feelings and how pitiful he really was. He'd have to make up some sort of excuse next time he saw him, but for now, the ground looked most comforting.

Sess POV

I was once told even my falling was graceful, but only once because I hardly ever fall. But right now I fell on the ground onto me knees. And then I couldn't even support my shaking frame like this and laid onto the ground in a sort of fetal position with my arm spread out above my head so I could lay my head on in for support.

And then I stayed in that position, crying for what seemed so long, or maybe it was just the fact that I hadn't done this since childhood and that I felt so alone for the first time in my life. But maybe it really wasn't that long, because eventually I heard a noise from the brush. Because of my sobbing, I didn't care and left it alone for that moment.

And then you surprised me.

Normal POV

Sesshomaru felt a hand glide across his outstretched one and then slide down to his waist to pull him up like a rag doll into someone's lap. The lord didn't even care who this person was. A bit of him hoped it wasn't a human, but the other part only wanted the console he had never gotten in all his life.

Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around the stranger and he placed his head on the person's shoulder, now only sniffling thanks to the soothing hand rubbing up and down and making circles on his back. He heard a whisper in his ear, but his senses were too muddled to actually listen to what the voice was saying. The arm now around his waist tightened and the hand rubbing stopped to touch Sesshomaru's damp and pale cheek.

But as soon as the Lord of the West's senses returned to normal and his vocal chords could finally work and his body was capable, he inhaled to a scent he knew so well as almost like his own. Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru pulled away from the half breed and turned away at once out of the warm lap. "What are you doing here? Isn't you ningen waiting for you at that village a while back?" His tone had returned to that of his cold nature once again. He was trying to hold on to the charade, but he was wiping away at his wet cheeks in the process so it was rather hard not to look so weak.

"Sessho…" The younger's breath ran short and his voice trailed away to the changing winds. A short silence passed between the two and just by the look in his brother's eyes, Inuyasha could tell what was wrong. "You know I love her, but…there is someone else I love much more. Someone I've waited for and saved myself for all my life…" Then his voice became less dreamy and a bit more serious. "Why were you watching me and Kagome anyway?"

Sesshomaru froze at this inquiry. He hadn't yet thought up a fake reason for why he had been spying. He simply did the only thing he could think of at the moment. Throw another question at his other. "Well, why would it matter to you?"

"Because. Just answer the question."

Sesshomaru stayed quiet for a moment and then sighed, still not looking Inuyasha in the eye. "…I really don't know now. I wanted to tell you something, but I think I was a bit late."

Inuyasha's head snapped to attention at this statement. Could it be? "Sesshomaru…Why were you crying?"

Another pause and another painful breath. And what was even worse than those two…another heartache. "I saw you with her. You two kissed and now you're lovers."

"But that doesn't answer the question." Suddenly Inuyasha's thick head finally put the pieces together. And he mentally 'Ohhh'ed. "You were coming to tell me something and then you saw me and Kagome together and got jealous. Then you ran away crying for a lost hope and I smelled your tears so I came after you to see what was wrong. And here we are now. But that could only mean that what you wanted to tell me was that you-"

Inuyasha was cut off as Sesshomaru placed one of his clawed hands over his mouth to stop him from saying the last few words. "Yes, that's right. I wanted to tell you tonight. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Well for spying on you and ruining your moment with the girl." Sesshomaru's eyes traveled to Inuyasha's only to look away again. "I think I'll take my leave now." He was about to set off again when a hand grabbed his arm to prevent him from doing so.

"No. I don't want you to go. She means nothing if I can have you." Inuyasha's eyes were pleading to him as he headed the request. His lips were suddenly plastered to Sesshomaru's in a desperate kiss. Both struggled to make more of this one kiss and clung to each other like they'd never let go in a million years. But eventually they needed to breath. Sesshomaru pulled away from Inuyasha slightly and looked into his golden orbs.

It was odd. The elder was suddenly smiling like a real person. He couldn't stop it from spreading across his face just looking at his brother. But then it faded and his eyes looked upset.

"Inuyasha…I can't get between you and the miko. We may feel the same way, but we cannot mate for neither of us can bear an heir. You are in love with her and she is in love with you. As much as I…want to be with you, I can't take away a suitable mate for you. I can't…do this." Sesshomaru thought his brother was now on the verge of tears as he looked at him.

Little whimpers came from Inuyasha's mouth as he mumbled 'no, no, no' over and over shaking his head side to side. "You needn't fear brother. This heart and these tears and this body belong to you. And they will forever. Even if you cannot be with me in the same way."

"Why…" Was all that came from the younger brother's mouth and then a harsh scream was heard along with other yells.

"Inuyasha! Where are you? Where'd you go? Answer me or I'll say the 's' word! Now!" Kagome's voice could be identified as the loudest and angriest.

Inuyasha's arms moved from his brother as he slunk back slowly into the forest. His eyes told the other all he needed to know about the half breed's feelings. They were evident in everything he did.

Then he was gone. The yelling stopped and Sesshomaru could no longer smell the sweet scent of his brother and he was finally alone. For good this time. He knew Inuyasha wouldn't be coming back to see him. And it maybe it was better that way. It may be too painful for the both of them to recall it all.

The next few hours were of most displeasure. Sesshomaru's tears began to fall before and now they wouldn't stop. They kept falling like rain, sliding down his cheeks only to be caught in his hands and dropped to the ground. He sobbed so hard he began to get sick and throw up from the heaving.

And by morning his heart had broken completely to the point of no return. And soon after that, his life ended in the clearing. He had died from a broken heart and sadness, a true lover's death.

The Next Morning………..

"Sesshomaru? My lord? Where is he Master Jaken?" The scared girl wondered to her babysitter with big eyes and a trembling lip.

"Oh quit whining you silly girl! Lord Sesshomaru will be back soon. Don't worry about him. He's a lot stronger than you may think, the strongest I know of. He'll be back by tomorrow most likely."

Inu POV:

Tetsusaiga started shaking early in the morning while it hung on my belt, waking me up. And now I'm sitting here staring at it wondering why it's doing that. Something must have happened. It only shakes when there's trouble. I hope everything's okay; I'm rather worn out today.

Suddenly my head spun as a thought hit me. Is he alright? Is Sesshomaru okay? I pray he is. I slowly closed my eyes as my sword suddenly stopped shaking for some other unknown reason.

I wouldn't give up just yet. I'd get his heart sooner or later. I'd go see him again later. Maybe. Right now all I wanted to do was sleep. But the last thought that came to mind before I did was a picture of my brother, smiling a real smile just for me. And that easily lulled me away from reality into a deep sleep I never knew I could have.

* * *

**_-PL_**

**_Inu will figure out at some point that he's dead...poor thing. Not one of my favorite stories, personally. I realized this during my editing. _**


End file.
